Above & BeyondThere are instances when we decide to base our decisions on assumptions and not facts. There are also, instances when we put together facts to create assumptions which we ultimately decide that since its gotten from facts, then it is indeed a reflection of reality or at least an explanation of it. We can also argue that sometimes, solutions to problems could be gotten by making informed assumptions and taking decisions based on these. But back to the reality that is life and what is of most importance- relationships- assumptions could be deadly.

It is no doubt that a lot of relationships start off as being great- you can’t seem to stop thinking about the other party, you use every chance you get to be with them, you cant get enough of them and all the other crazy things that come along with being enveloped in the early stages of any relationship. It becomes a necessity to keep all these ‘feelings’ and ‘wonder’ going as you derive a sense of acceptance, love, accomplishment and fulfillment from just knowing that there is someone willing to listen to everything you have to offer and say without seeming to get tired. Everything as you once knew takes on another dimension or somehow becomes clearer as if they were never around before.

But when apart from one another, some of these feelings or actions begin to somehow fade. You realize that you hardly talk often as you used to, you don’t bother about giving excuses just so you don’t spend time with them, or call, or you just don’t seem to have that ‘it’ factor that was the source of all the joy and exhilaration that you had. The distance and time apart will surely begin to take its toll and that’s when the assumptions begin.

You may take an un-replied text to be something else and an un-answered call could also mean another thing all together. You may begin to question almost everything that the other party does and as you do this, with or without realization, you are already forming scenarios and creating illusions of what ‘could’ or ‘could not’ be the true reality of events. Worst still is if you are the type that would rather trust his/her judgment or thoughts than actually confront a matter that bothers the mind with the party involved. Devastating it will be if you are the type that entertains gossip.

It would be unfair to say that assuming is totally fatal in relationships as there are moments when you have to take a ‘guess’ before doing something which may eventually turn out to be a plus. The fatality in assumption only arises when it hinders you from believing in the friendship or when it casts serious doubts in the mind or brings about restlessness and in some cases, become a gateway or path to violence or abuse. Even in daily interactions with one another, it is of paramount importance not to just assume things without trying to fully understand each other.

The truth about relationships is that it’s never easy to build one that is lasting and which bothers on almost everything that one desires, want or believe in. The best relationships which are the envy of everyone and which almost all wish to have does not become so because the pairs match one another but because the relationship was built on the greatest foundation any could have -COMMUNICATION.

Just as the beginning stage of a relationship where you tell almost everything as you feel or experience them and listen attentively when conversing, it is of most importance to always try to keep this door open if you wish for it to last. There is no good without bad, no peace without war and no solution without a problem and as with everything that is worth fighting for and having, we shall always be tested. There will always be those who will tell you it isn’t possible and they will give countless examples and experiences of others or themselves to drive home their point. You may see reason in what they say and you may also see similarities with how yours is going but you should always remember that no two individuals are the same. What applies to one may not apply to the other and the best way to be clear when doubtful is to ask the party involved and then let your mind decide what is best for itself. It is also wise to ask the opinion of those we highly respect in matters we feel needs a second opinion but decisions should be sorely ours and not left in the hands of another. Happiness is from within and can only reflect when we are sure and proud of our decisions and actions.

So let’s assume a common ground exists and communicate.


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